A poem about denominational incompatibility...
Why isn’t your name Heather-Jane?
It makes rhyming much less of a pain
I’ve got so much to say
In a rhythmical way
And a couplet would help me stay sane
Why couldn’t you be Mary-Lou?
It would suit me so well, unlike you
Incongruity flows
From your head to my toes
And your name doesn’t help much, it’s true
I’d love to have loved you as Grace
There’d be poems all over the place
But I’ll have to conclude
Without trying to be rude
That your name is as odd as your face
Why not Emma or Holly or Jenny?
Oh the words would be varied and many
But with nothing to use
I just stumble and bruise
With this closure; why can’t you be Penny?
Sandy or Meg would be great
I’d have rhymings for fun on a plate
This short billet-doux
That just says we’re through;
It would be so much fun to create
Why can’t you be Vicky or Sue?
They are so much more easy to do
In whichever sense
Let’s have no more pretence
It is over; I’m cheating on you
Two lines and full stop if you’re Dot
The word couplet
is odd is it not?
That last letter T
Seems much better to me
But without it you get what we’re not
But you’re Monica aren’t you my dear
Oh the irony’s patently clear
Your name is a title
But this is so vital
And it is our difference I fear
If I spoke with a New Yorker’s drawl
It wouldn’t be awkward at all
The airport of Larnaca
Goes well with Monica
But that just fails to enthral
So goodbye then, the fault’s with your name.
We’re no more and your handle’s to blame
You’re not much of a catch
Because nothing will match
So maybe your men are the same
