My Personal Guide To Puns and Wordplay

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The pun or paronomasia, is a form of word play that suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect.

That's why you're here.

This is a personal opinion on how to construct half-decent wordplay. Your views may collide in a gentle buffeting manner but these guidelines are those to which I try and abide when writing for greetings cards and tee shirts.

A rule of thumb I use is if you HAVE to break any of the first 4 rules then you are trying too hard and should reconsider the wordplay entirely. Sometimes it's best just to walk away. Or if you are convinced it's a belter, write down the idea and come back to it another time. A fresh coat of eyes is sometimes a good thing; even better than mixing metaphors.

Sometimes simplicity is key for wordplay. In fact, often it is. Punsters (especially in the #1PUN game on twitter) try and go balls-out to deconstruct a massive multi-word statement, or phrase and quite often fail miserably because the setup breaks some or all of the first 4 rules - big time.

I do include an example below where I have bent one of the rules (Rule 5) but you need to be judicious where you can.

Before we start, this is what I consider the worst example of punning:

When my nan turned up the bass on her Dab radio, it knocked her budgie off his perch and gave her an almighty haddock. “Cod almighty!” she shouted “I’ll need a herring aid now!”

This is completely different to wordplay in my opinion and is just substituting similar sounding words around a central theme. It fits the definition with which we opened and is legit for #1PUN but is not really crafting with words.

Note, all examples have been taken from the #1PUN game on Twitter.

Rules

1.  Puns and wordplay shouldn't be forced. They should flow naturally, be conversational, not have too many spikes in them. The ultimate best puns are one liners in my opinion but if that's not possible, try and make the break clean.

2.  Puns and wordplay shouldn't be contrived (deliberately staging a set up which is wholly unbelievable, just for the pay-off)

3.  Or shoe-horned (deliberately staging a set-up just to add the pay-off).

4.  If you have to create a made-up feed line, laboriously laying down synonyms and definitions, just to set up the response in the punchline… it will appear overly contrived and is not good.

Examples

I have five chefs working for me, labelled A to E. Only one of them can make a decent crunchy-topped fruit dessert but that's the way the Cook E crumbles.

The setup is ridiculous, having chefs "labelled" like that just for the pay off. As an aside, "crunchy-topped fruit dessert" could easily have just been pudding for simplicity.

Male bovines living on the banks of the river in Perth have revolted - the Tay bulls have turned.

Clearly ridiculous set up in an effort to get the idiom in as the punchline. An example of starting at the end and working backwards regardless of the finish.

Saw Collins from Genesis this morning who had developed an irrational fear of Trotter from Only Fools & Horses when eating certain cheeses. It was Phil a Del fear.

Where to begin? Utter gubbins in its set up, construction and contrivance.

5.  Avoid if at all possible a repeat of the key punch words in the feedline but not to the detriment of the setup, working with rules 1 to 4

Examples:

I've always been extremely interested in bikes. Does this make me bike-curious?

Bike is used and is replicated again in the punchline. "all forms of two wheeled transport" would have worked much better.

In the following example however, I did break this rule:

Susan Boyle loves a game of snooker but hates you looking at her while she's playing. So remember, a watched Boyle never pots.

But I placed Susan Boyle at the start of the sentence so it was as far away as possible from the eventual punchline. Rule 5 can be bent if there is no other way, but as you can see, it can work.

6. Wordplay that involves heteronyms* will never work.

Examples:

After arguing all day, my wife and I cleared the air with a walk in the park. We hired a boat but ended up rowing.

NO! Having a row with your wife and having a row in a boat are different.

I went to the Reading festival. It was full of books.

NO! NO! NO! Kill it with fire! They are "Redding" and "Reeding" - totally unacceptable!

* A list of heteronyms can be found here 

7.  Similar to heteronyms, puns that rely on a word to be pronounced differently I personally would avoid unless in some way a regional identification can be used in the opening (see rule 8.)

Examples:

I decided to give an award to the best feline rear in my neighbourhood. It was a cat ass trophy

This relies on the reader to pronounce trophy as "troffee" and stress all the wrong syllables and doesn't quite work.

I was thinking of making a sodium joke, but Na.

The chemical symbol for Sodium is Na but it is not pronounced "Nah".. It is N.A. Again, it doesn't quite work for me.

I told my wife cooking wasn't her forté

She said "What's forté?" 

"20 + 20" I replied. 

Forté is pronounced "for-tay", not "for-tee" and there is the whole inflexion thing going on with stressing FOR on forté and TEE on forty. Yes - we can all get it but it's purest form it doesn't quite do it for me.

8.  Remember your audience. Regional and international dialects and slang may not always translate so a locational reference is always useful

Examples:

My Jamaican postman always leaves me wanting. Or another

This would leave a reader scratching his head without the Jamaican reference but of course, it would be bloody hilarious in the pubs of Kingston.

9.    Question and response wordplay shouldn't use an obvious question as the response, just to crowbar in the punchline.

Examples:

Just got back from 'nam!

Vietnam?

No, Cheltenham!

When you say "'nam!" the obvious and assumed location is Vietnam, so why question it? Instead try to phrase the opening so that you don't need the obvious response.

"It was really rough when I was in 'nam"

"I didn't know you were in the army?"

"No man, Cheltenham!"

This classic old chestnut does work because there is clarification needed about the Caribbean destination and the whole pun is not contrived but conversational:

“My wife's gone to the Caribbean on holiday."

“Jamaica?”

“No she decided to go herself.”

Puns that DO work

A few examples of puns that do work because they flow, they sound natural and obey the rules:

Examples:

They were confused when I put lemon sorbet on the cheese biscuit... until I explained that it was just pudding on the Ritz.

@TheActualSteve

Nice natural flow.

My obsession with removing splinters is getting a little bit out of hand

@drofidnas

Simple one liner that flows naturally. Quite rare to get a good one this short actually.

There are lots of different things to do at my local zoo, but the bit where you get to comb the lion's hair is the main event.

@Hugo_Topper

Naturally-paced conversational statement, builds up nicely by introducing "different things" to set up the "main event"

My blind date hasn't turned up at the Whitesnake gig I've bought tickets for. 

So, here I go again on my own.

@TheRealNickKay

A two liner, but necessary. You can almost hear the shrug and the resignation as the punchline begins.

After the Last Supper, Peter stacked chairs, James cleared the table, Thomas settled the bill. Jesus swept.

@markosmond2

Brilliant. The punchline melts into the list of tasks effortlessly.

Do you keep confusing a Scottish engineer for a Time Lord? It's not Watt you know, it's Who you know.

@Albionicman

Just lovely. Simple and natural Q&A pun that needs no additional frills. They are rare but they're out there.

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I hope you can get some use out of this guide. I'm not the pun God, the authority on what's right and what's wrong but these are all rules, pointers, guidelines - call them what you will - that I follow when I write stuff to sell. It may seem picky to a lot of people but writing and crafting good wordplay isn't just having the ability to swap words around willy nilly.

People may argue that deconstructing wordplay takes the shine off it; that it removes part of the fun. I would argue that writing a good flowing piece of wordplay is easily akin to playing a musical instrument, writing a story or drawing a picture. They are all art forms and all have rules that need to be adhered to, to a greater or lesser extent. Once you know the rules and you have learned what sounds and looks good you no longer need to look up chords or consult books on sketching. THEN you can have fun with it.

I'm a technical writer by day and a writer as a hobbyist so I've been in and around words nearly all my life. Knowing my way round the technical aspects of the English language makes it easier for me to write a good pun in my opinion.

People seem to like what I do, so I suppose I must be doing something right.

Cheers.